Quebec...
Hola world! Tis been ages since I scribbled a few words, alot has happened since I blogged. In no particular order, I'll run through the random list of 'interesting' things that took place since I last wrote:
I finally moved outta Brick City to Parsippany. Twas time to move, dunno how to explain it but you get to a point where you just realize that you have to turn a new page. Parsippany feels fresh, the location is exquisite and I'll be discovering the neighborhood in the next few days. Furnishing/decorating the house was an interesting and wallet breaking experience, I think I could make a living as an abstract interior decorator. Big shout out to Coco who came up with half of the ideas, just couldn't seem to make up my mind, she always had the final word.
I finally watched one presidential debate and laughed my head off (LMHO) as Razaq Amabo went in on that dude Romney, horses and bayonets style. I kinda felt bad for poor Mitt, people just don't like him, how do you fight that?
There was a final party hosted @ mi casa in Perez, twas epic. The bartender was tipsy, so I had to substitute as part host and bartender, DJ Yoossouph was on fire and the party rocked so hard till the cops came knocking. I got $60 in tips as a bartender (not bad but someone hijacked the money, my tequilla and sweetened lime juice combo was wicked), Team HQ represented in full force and there was a whole pitcher of customed brewed flavor a.k.a. "The Awesomeness" courtesy of HQ's own Swag King. The po-po eventually shut the party down and people refused to leave, lol, epic night.
Hurricane Sandy came and wrecked havoc on Jersey. Yours sincerely survived it (thanks for all the prayers and to everyone who called/sent messages). The worst of the storm for me was losing power for 24 hours while stuck @ the old crib in Newark. Unfortunately we didnt have candles or battery powered torchlights, we had iPhone and iPad powered torch apps which eventually ran out of power. I queued for gas for 4 hours and at a point in time I actually thought I was back in Lagos of 2000. Flooding, no power, long gas queues, frustrated people, all that was missing in order to complete the picture was Gala vendors sprinting on the road.
Razaq Amabo won the US election, I didnt bother following the results this time around, unlike in 2008 when I was delirious with joy. I guess I wasn't buying into the hype of change much more or maybe it was because I was in Quebec trying to explain in my best possible french to the waiter "Je n'ai pas Canadien dollars ici, tres desole!". Anyway, I pray for Mr President, the world needs a stable American economy for progress everywhere else. I kinda feel sad sha, because Mr Romney promised that green cards and passports would be shared at Shoprite and Pathmark if he won (don't quote me o, na wetin dem talk).
I bought the James Clavell asian book collection (yipee). I've read 3 of the books before, many years ago but I just wanted to have it. I rediscovered Asa's music, been jamming it here in Quebec, part of the french spirit. This winter looks like it's going to be wicked, freezing cold here in Canada (status quo).
My birthday is roughly 6 weeks away, I'll be turning 29. Maybe I should start drawing up my wishlist: Olivia Bubble, BMW 7 series, A Sony PlayStation 3, iHome Speakers, a return ticket to Paradise, Iya Ronke rice, Champions League trophy for Arsenal and 20gallons of gas (if the queues persist till December!). That's my wishlist for now, don't judge me, I'm a dreamer.
Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. No good thing ever dies...
"Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption" by Stephen King.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Satires & Dreams: The Debate (Part 1)
5...4...3...2...1
The moderator cleared his throat noisily, adjusted his bow-time, patted down his well-kept afro and repositioned his geeky spectacles perched on the tip of his nose. "My swagga dey too gbaski", he hummed to himself. Noticing that the studio felt rather 'quiet', he looked up and mumbled, "Emmm...Are we on air". The frantic gestures of the camera man snapped him back to reality, he switched on his Denzel Washington mega watt smile, replacing the smirk he had on his face while switching to his polished Channel O accent...
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show and thanks for tuning into this year's presidential debate. Let me remind you that this is the final chapter in our debate series, previously we had gathered all the opposition party leaders to debate and you our faithful viewers picked the winner to challenge our beloved President. We move at the speed of light so without any hesitation allow me to introduce our first contestant..."
Moderator flashes another Denzel smile, shuffles a few papers on his table and reads off the accomplishments rapidly...
"The leader of the opposition party is a fire-brigade, well-spoken, Havard educated young man with a vision to restore the economy of our country to the standard our colonialists envisioned. He is the last man standing from the previous debates and I can tell that he is fired up and roaring to go. Please welcome Mr Razaq Amabo..."
Cameras pan to an immaculately dressed young man in a 2 piece double breasted black suit, he flashed a smile and waved as he assumed his place at the podium.
" And finally, the man we have been waiting for, the one and only, most learned, most respected, ever vigilant, ever active, ever progressive, most loving President in the world. He doesn't need any introduction, he has walked into our hearts navigating from a boy born with no shoes to a man in Louis V, please join me as we stand and welcome our leader, President Joe-Swagga Lucky..."
Cameras pan to the President as he walks on stage, flanked by 4 mean looking samurai-type bodyguards. The President is dressed in a dark colored french suit and as he walks majestically to the podium, the moderator prostrates flat on the ground in greeting, smiling and mumbling "good evening sir" repeatedly. Razaq Amabo looks at the spectacle before him in mild bewilderment and disgust and shakes his head.
After the commotion had died down, the moderator now back to his normal charming self, launches into the rules of the debate. The opposition party leader must answer each question first, he says and then the President follows up with his answer. Razaq objected at the unfairness of the rules since it favored the President, but he was hushed by one of the samurai bodyguards who glared at him. President Joe-Swagga was relaxed all through, beaming smiles at the camera, "go on my boy", he said to the moderator.
Then the debate started:
Question 1: How do you propose to fix the economy
Razaq Amabo: Let me be clear, we'll start by trimming the federal expenditure and cutting down the budget and expenses going down the drain in supporting our bloated government officials. We have to tackle this issue from the root, we can't create jobs if the people in charge are not transparent, I plan to ...
Moderator interrupts Razaq in mid-speech, smiling while yelling "time up"
Razaq Amabo: But I have'nt spent a minute, I'm still trying to answer the question.
Moderator: Your time is up sir, please give our President chance to address the issues you raised.
Razaq Amabo: Mr Moderator, I have a feeling that your actions are biased, I don't...
Moderator cuts in angrily...
"Abeg no dey insult me, na you dey pay my salary?"
Turning to the cameras again, he smiled and announced:
"Now, let's hear from our beloved leader".
President Joe-Swagga clears his throat, glances around, almost as if he was unsure of his surroundings, "eh, what was the question again?" he queried.
Moderator: How do you propose to take care of your people sir?
President Joe-Swagga: Simple, everything Mr Razaq said. Plus, I just spoke to the President of Apple, Mr Steve Jobs and my people have been working on a new patent with him, we are going to create 1 million jobs when we release our new technology in this country.
One of the bodyguards walks over to the President and whispers for a few seconds in his ears...
President Joe-Swagga: I've just been informed that Steve passed away. May his soul rest in peace. I hereby declare tomorrow as public holiday in his honor.
Moderator: So what is this new technology, Mr President
President Joe-Swagga: Well, we are going to release the BBi-Phone 7, a new iPhone with BBM pin so you can ping your friends as you vote. My government will be giving out a new BBi-Phone7 to our 'loyal' supporters at the polling booth on election day...
Moderator (looking at the screen in excitement): What! Oseeeeeee!!! People, you know who to vote for! Swagga for life!
Razaq Amabo (angrily): This is preposterous!
To be continued...
The moderator cleared his throat noisily, adjusted his bow-time, patted down his well-kept afro and repositioned his geeky spectacles perched on the tip of his nose. "My swagga dey too gbaski", he hummed to himself. Noticing that the studio felt rather 'quiet', he looked up and mumbled, "Emmm...Are we on air". The frantic gestures of the camera man snapped him back to reality, he switched on his Denzel Washington mega watt smile, replacing the smirk he had on his face while switching to his polished Channel O accent...
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show and thanks for tuning into this year's presidential debate. Let me remind you that this is the final chapter in our debate series, previously we had gathered all the opposition party leaders to debate and you our faithful viewers picked the winner to challenge our beloved President. We move at the speed of light so without any hesitation allow me to introduce our first contestant..."
Moderator flashes another Denzel smile, shuffles a few papers on his table and reads off the accomplishments rapidly...
"The leader of the opposition party is a fire-brigade, well-spoken, Havard educated young man with a vision to restore the economy of our country to the standard our colonialists envisioned. He is the last man standing from the previous debates and I can tell that he is fired up and roaring to go. Please welcome Mr Razaq Amabo..."
Cameras pan to an immaculately dressed young man in a 2 piece double breasted black suit, he flashed a smile and waved as he assumed his place at the podium.
" And finally, the man we have been waiting for, the one and only, most learned, most respected, ever vigilant, ever active, ever progressive, most loving President in the world. He doesn't need any introduction, he has walked into our hearts navigating from a boy born with no shoes to a man in Louis V, please join me as we stand and welcome our leader, President Joe-Swagga Lucky..."
Cameras pan to the President as he walks on stage, flanked by 4 mean looking samurai-type bodyguards. The President is dressed in a dark colored french suit and as he walks majestically to the podium, the moderator prostrates flat on the ground in greeting, smiling and mumbling "good evening sir" repeatedly. Razaq Amabo looks at the spectacle before him in mild bewilderment and disgust and shakes his head.
After the commotion had died down, the moderator now back to his normal charming self, launches into the rules of the debate. The opposition party leader must answer each question first, he says and then the President follows up with his answer. Razaq objected at the unfairness of the rules since it favored the President, but he was hushed by one of the samurai bodyguards who glared at him. President Joe-Swagga was relaxed all through, beaming smiles at the camera, "go on my boy", he said to the moderator.
Then the debate started:
Question 1: How do you propose to fix the economy
Razaq Amabo: Let me be clear, we'll start by trimming the federal expenditure and cutting down the budget and expenses going down the drain in supporting our bloated government officials. We have to tackle this issue from the root, we can't create jobs if the people in charge are not transparent, I plan to ...
Moderator interrupts Razaq in mid-speech, smiling while yelling "time up"
Razaq Amabo: But I have'nt spent a minute, I'm still trying to answer the question.
Moderator: Your time is up sir, please give our President chance to address the issues you raised.
Razaq Amabo: Mr Moderator, I have a feeling that your actions are biased, I don't...
Moderator cuts in angrily...
"Abeg no dey insult me, na you dey pay my salary?"
Turning to the cameras again, he smiled and announced:
"Now, let's hear from our beloved leader".
President Joe-Swagga clears his throat, glances around, almost as if he was unsure of his surroundings, "eh, what was the question again?" he queried.
Moderator: How do you propose to take care of your people sir?
President Joe-Swagga: Simple, everything Mr Razaq said. Plus, I just spoke to the President of Apple, Mr Steve Jobs and my people have been working on a new patent with him, we are going to create 1 million jobs when we release our new technology in this country.
One of the bodyguards walks over to the President and whispers for a few seconds in his ears...
President Joe-Swagga: I've just been informed that Steve passed away. May his soul rest in peace. I hereby declare tomorrow as public holiday in his honor.
Moderator: So what is this new technology, Mr President
President Joe-Swagga: Well, we are going to release the BBi-Phone 7, a new iPhone with BBM pin so you can ping your friends as you vote. My government will be giving out a new BBi-Phone7 to our 'loyal' supporters at the polling booth on election day...
Moderator (looking at the screen in excitement): What! Oseeeeeee!!! People, you know who to vote for! Swagga for life!
Razaq Amabo (angrily): This is preposterous!
To be continued...
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Be Your Man...
He stood nervously beneath the shade of the large udara tree, fidgeting and twirling a twig in his hands absent-mindedly. Around the base of the tree, you could make out the matrix of footprints in the ground, tell-tale of his frequent pacing as he rehearsed his love notes. Up above, the skies were clear and the clouds resplendent in white and shades of tainted light blue, while the birds chirped merrily oblivious to the rapid heartbeat of the love-struck young man beneath them. The cool breeze was soothing against his skin, almost whispering soft encouragement to him, but he barely noticed it, his mind was far away, floating on stormy tides as he sought to gather his composure...
The previous night he had stayed up by the warm glow of the lantern, crafting the words together. And he had felt so composed and confident as he poured his heart out on paper, his feelings and love magically transformed into ink as the words he wrote painted the inner beatings of his heart. Then it had seemed like a very good idea and the excitement had kept him up, his spirits floating joyously like Cupid. He had carefully brought out his best clothes; a pair of khaki shorts and a china-white shirt that he saved only for special occasions...
His arms still hurt from the energy he expended in ironing the shirt, the gators stood out so sharply on the shirt, for a moment he wondered if it would cut her skin when they hugged. "Chineke, what was I thinking?" he muttered in panic as he tried to feel the edge of the shirt. Too late for that, he thought to himself, she would be here in a few minutes. He still remembered the first time he saw her by the stream, it was many years ago but the memory still caused his heart to skip a few beats. He had been so tongue-tied by her beauty that all he could manage was a grunt which passed for a hello...
His mind drifted into daydreams, a wistful smile on his face. He was an interesting sight to behold, a young man with his hands in his pockets beneath a large tree in the middle of the clearing, his bicycle resting against the base of the tree, with a bunch of flowers tied to the bicycle. In his mind all he could see was the mischiveous sparkle in her eyes when she smiled, the fullness of her lips, the v-cleft where her graceful neck met her collar bones, the bronze chocolate lustre of her skin, the smooth and fluid curves of her body...just then he was snapped out of his reverie by the bleating of a goat. He jerked himself out of his daydream, alarmed that he had lost track of time. He noticed the goat looking at him with a funny expression as it chewed on something, he picked up a stone and flung it near the goat to drive it away, 'can't let a goat spoil this romantic setting', he thought to himself.
A few minutes later he could hear her footsteps approaching, he could always tell because she had an elegant way of walking pretty fast, almost like an angel floating on land. He took a deep breath, braced himself and got on one knee, his heartbeat was as loud as the towncrier's gong on Nkwo market day. He wanted her to see him on his knees with the flowers in his hands as she came into view. That was how he read that men were supposed to propose in the English books, so even though they were in the village, he was determined to be romantic. He reached for the flowers he had tied to the bicycle and discovered they were gone, panic shot up his mind like the sour taste of the udara fruit above his head. "I kept it right here", he screamed in his mind, the sweat had begun to break out on his forehead, she was almost there.
He had written his proposal on a note he attached to the flowers and he had planned to read it to her so she could understand how much he loved her, now the flowers and the note was gone. He looked around in despair and got on one knee neverthless, his thots in disarray, trying to figure out what happened to the flowers, and struggling to recall the words he had written in the note. Just then she walked into view, stunningly beautiful in the bright afternoon sunshine, a warm smile lighting up her face and radiating around her. He could feel his heart melt with love, though he didn't know how to express it into words. As he waited on one knee for her to approach, his mind searched in frustration for the words he had written on the note...then he remembered the goat...
The previous night he had stayed up by the warm glow of the lantern, crafting the words together. And he had felt so composed and confident as he poured his heart out on paper, his feelings and love magically transformed into ink as the words he wrote painted the inner beatings of his heart. Then it had seemed like a very good idea and the excitement had kept him up, his spirits floating joyously like Cupid. He had carefully brought out his best clothes; a pair of khaki shorts and a china-white shirt that he saved only for special occasions...
His arms still hurt from the energy he expended in ironing the shirt, the gators stood out so sharply on the shirt, for a moment he wondered if it would cut her skin when they hugged. "Chineke, what was I thinking?" he muttered in panic as he tried to feel the edge of the shirt. Too late for that, he thought to himself, she would be here in a few minutes. He still remembered the first time he saw her by the stream, it was many years ago but the memory still caused his heart to skip a few beats. He had been so tongue-tied by her beauty that all he could manage was a grunt which passed for a hello...
His mind drifted into daydreams, a wistful smile on his face. He was an interesting sight to behold, a young man with his hands in his pockets beneath a large tree in the middle of the clearing, his bicycle resting against the base of the tree, with a bunch of flowers tied to the bicycle. In his mind all he could see was the mischiveous sparkle in her eyes when she smiled, the fullness of her lips, the v-cleft where her graceful neck met her collar bones, the bronze chocolate lustre of her skin, the smooth and fluid curves of her body...just then he was snapped out of his reverie by the bleating of a goat. He jerked himself out of his daydream, alarmed that he had lost track of time. He noticed the goat looking at him with a funny expression as it chewed on something, he picked up a stone and flung it near the goat to drive it away, 'can't let a goat spoil this romantic setting', he thought to himself.
A few minutes later he could hear her footsteps approaching, he could always tell because she had an elegant way of walking pretty fast, almost like an angel floating on land. He took a deep breath, braced himself and got on one knee, his heartbeat was as loud as the towncrier's gong on Nkwo market day. He wanted her to see him on his knees with the flowers in his hands as she came into view. That was how he read that men were supposed to propose in the English books, so even though they were in the village, he was determined to be romantic. He reached for the flowers he had tied to the bicycle and discovered they were gone, panic shot up his mind like the sour taste of the udara fruit above his head. "I kept it right here", he screamed in his mind, the sweat had begun to break out on his forehead, she was almost there.
He had written his proposal on a note he attached to the flowers and he had planned to read it to her so she could understand how much he loved her, now the flowers and the note was gone. He looked around in despair and got on one knee neverthless, his thots in disarray, trying to figure out what happened to the flowers, and struggling to recall the words he had written in the note. Just then she walked into view, stunningly beautiful in the bright afternoon sunshine, a warm smile lighting up her face and radiating around her. He could feel his heart melt with love, though he didn't know how to express it into words. As he waited on one knee for her to approach, his mind searched in frustration for the words he had written on the note...then he remembered the goat...
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Unchained...Day #1: Fall
Alright had to break the silence, been awhile since I blogged. I have a thousand and one things to blog about but for some reason I can't remember any. Dunno if I should blog frequently, maybe daily. Anyway, since I can't make up my mind, I'll throw it open to my blog members and visitors. For the next 15 days,you can decide what I'll write or blog about next. Just pick a topic or ask me any question and I'll close my eyes and paint. To make it a lil interesting, the next subject/topic will be decided by the first person to comment on the blog or whoever picks a topic first :) Let's see if I have any followers out there, lol.
Today, I was reminded that the Fall season is just around the corner, so I'm scribbling a lil piece on "Fall". My mind tends to drift so don't ask me what the 'poem' is about. The subject is "Fall"... a lil bit complex to decipher.
FALL
Summer is fading away, fall beckons...
U can almost feel the leaves whispering in trees...
Swayed by the gentle caress of the wind...
Soon the trees will be bare, stripped naked of its leaves...
Like crumpled sheets ripped off in the throes of passion...
Ominous dark clouds forming like budding teardrops...
Goosebumps on naked skin...
Hunched shoulders braced against the whip of the wind...
Tongue sliding absent-mindedly over lips...
Bikini beach bodies fading like a trick by Houdini?..
Sun still sky-high, yelling "do you see me?"...
Blanket, duvet, feels cozy, "do you feel me?"...
Chilly, a shot of tequilla, bottoms up, fire blazing...
Lazy, I'm not crazy, don't call me baby, I'm sorry...
Crash! Man down...Fall
Today, I was reminded that the Fall season is just around the corner, so I'm scribbling a lil piece on "Fall". My mind tends to drift so don't ask me what the 'poem' is about. The subject is "Fall"... a lil bit complex to decipher.
FALL
Summer is fading away, fall beckons...
U can almost feel the leaves whispering in trees...
Swayed by the gentle caress of the wind...
Soon the trees will be bare, stripped naked of its leaves...
Like crumpled sheets ripped off in the throes of passion...
Ominous dark clouds forming like budding teardrops...
Goosebumps on naked skin...
Hunched shoulders braced against the whip of the wind...
Tongue sliding absent-mindedly over lips...
Bikini beach bodies fading like a trick by Houdini?..
Sun still sky-high, yelling "do you see me?"...
Blanket, duvet, feels cozy, "do you feel me?"...
Chilly, a shot of tequilla, bottoms up, fire blazing...
Lazy, I'm not crazy, don't call me baby, I'm sorry...
Crash! Man down...Fall
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Single Couples
Ever since my folks and my sister left, I've been returning home to a big empty house. One of the things I miss is coming back home to a warm meal, lol. It got me thinking yesterday. There's a common belief that most bachelors 'suffer' because they have to eat out or survive on indomie, dunno where that idea came from. And a common debate/argument still goes on about whether a guy would marry a girl who doesnt know how to cook. Now I personally don't believe cooking skills should be one of the criteria for marriage, but considering the modern generation we are in, my reasons for thinking so have changed.
I'm an excellent cook and I can handle myself as efficiently as any woman in the kitchen, my mum made sure of that. Still I discover that when I get back home after a long day of busting my ass at work, I just want to sit down, relax and eat something good. Now there are 2 options, either I microwave some food I cooked earlier and stored in the freezer, or roll up my sleeves and start cooking dinner. On very very rare occassions, I might be too tired and just order food instead. Now, here's the funny thing, mi casa plays host to a whole crowd of regular 'visitors'. So sometimes when I return from work, tired and hungry, I have to step into the kitchen to cook dinner while a few 'visitors' lounge on my couch gisting, playing games and stylishly waiting for 'dinner' to appear. To be very sincere, it can drive me nuts! Not that I need much help in the kitchen, but the least I expect is a little 'moral support', a lil company while I'm in the kitchen.
Coming back to the debate of whether a woman or a man should cook or not, I do think there are a few extra factors to consider. If both the man and the woman have full time jobs, there has to be alot of patience and understanding. In my opinion, whoever gets home first should get dinner ready. There has been a paradigm shift over the years. Before men worked to take care of their families, while women ran the home and supported their husbands. That was the way we were 'traditionally' raised in Nigeria, women did most of the cooking and ran the home while the men took care of almost all the bills. But things changed gradually, people blame it on the birth of a new generation of 'career women' but I don't think that men were 'career oriented' in the past either. Most men worked for the sole purpose of taking care of their families, careers barely had much to do with it.
What I think happened is that as time passed by, the dependency of women on men waned, women wanted to be more independent (which is a very good thing in my opinion), and that hunger for independence led to more women pursuing careers. Now the men who had initially been in 'control' for so long were facing 'competition' at work, so their emphasis shifted from just providing for their families to preserving their 'alpha dog status'. Men AND women became more career oriented and the family harmony paid a little price for it. The key question is this, is it wrong to pursue your career? I think part of the problem with that question is that it is ALWAYS directed towards women. There seems to be an accepted idea that men ought to pursue their careers while women should sacrifice theirs for the family. It is a pretty complex debate and there are no clear cut answers.
My opinion is pretty straightforward, let's not sacrifice love and family harmony on the altar of our careers and ambitions. Can it be done? Yes, with careful communication, love and understanding. It doesn't matter if your mother always cooked for your father, that was 28 years ago, Barrack Obama wasn't president then. To round up my unprofessional rant, I came up with a few ideas:
For men
1. If you get home before your wife/fiancee/girlfriend, it doesn't hurt to prepare dinner. If you can't cook, you can always order something for you AND her. The common mistake most men make is that when it comes to food, they think only about themselves, but they expect women to remember them in their plans.
2. Be patient and understanding. Remember that she works as hard as you do and will probably get home as tired as you are. So don't grumble over the 'food choices' she offers you. A freshly prepared dinner is a luxury/bonus, not a right. If dinner consists of microwaved leftovers, dig in and relish the taste and do the dishes, it's a simple way of saying a quiet 'thank you'.
For women (I can't really advise women since I'm a guy, but I'll try)
1. If you can't cook, you should learn (lol). It doesn't hurt to be a good cook. Trust me, you can control a man with good food, he'll never come home late. So think of it as a 'bargaining chip', lol.
2. You must plan ahead of time, the kids will arrive someday and you'll be faced with extra responsibility. Get used to the 'habit' of taking care of someone, start practising with your man. Believe me, if you think men are demanding, wait till you have kids!
In general, communication is key. A couple ought to sit down and plan how they'll run the home "TOGETHER". Sacrifices will have to be made by both parties, the sooner you sit down and work out a plan, the better for everyone.
I'll go ahead and whip up dinner tonight, as for my 'visitors', the closest they'll get to tasting any of this would be in their dreams, lol. Go get hitched or be happy single.
Let me know your thoughts, opinions and ideas and feel free to share. I bet I said something out of line somewhere, so correct me if you have a different opinion.
I'm an excellent cook and I can handle myself as efficiently as any woman in the kitchen, my mum made sure of that. Still I discover that when I get back home after a long day of busting my ass at work, I just want to sit down, relax and eat something good. Now there are 2 options, either I microwave some food I cooked earlier and stored in the freezer, or roll up my sleeves and start cooking dinner. On very very rare occassions, I might be too tired and just order food instead. Now, here's the funny thing, mi casa plays host to a whole crowd of regular 'visitors'. So sometimes when I return from work, tired and hungry, I have to step into the kitchen to cook dinner while a few 'visitors' lounge on my couch gisting, playing games and stylishly waiting for 'dinner' to appear. To be very sincere, it can drive me nuts! Not that I need much help in the kitchen, but the least I expect is a little 'moral support', a lil company while I'm in the kitchen.
Coming back to the debate of whether a woman or a man should cook or not, I do think there are a few extra factors to consider. If both the man and the woman have full time jobs, there has to be alot of patience and understanding. In my opinion, whoever gets home first should get dinner ready. There has been a paradigm shift over the years. Before men worked to take care of their families, while women ran the home and supported their husbands. That was the way we were 'traditionally' raised in Nigeria, women did most of the cooking and ran the home while the men took care of almost all the bills. But things changed gradually, people blame it on the birth of a new generation of 'career women' but I don't think that men were 'career oriented' in the past either. Most men worked for the sole purpose of taking care of their families, careers barely had much to do with it.
What I think happened is that as time passed by, the dependency of women on men waned, women wanted to be more independent (which is a very good thing in my opinion), and that hunger for independence led to more women pursuing careers. Now the men who had initially been in 'control' for so long were facing 'competition' at work, so their emphasis shifted from just providing for their families to preserving their 'alpha dog status'. Men AND women became more career oriented and the family harmony paid a little price for it. The key question is this, is it wrong to pursue your career? I think part of the problem with that question is that it is ALWAYS directed towards women. There seems to be an accepted idea that men ought to pursue their careers while women should sacrifice theirs for the family. It is a pretty complex debate and there are no clear cut answers.
My opinion is pretty straightforward, let's not sacrifice love and family harmony on the altar of our careers and ambitions. Can it be done? Yes, with careful communication, love and understanding. It doesn't matter if your mother always cooked for your father, that was 28 years ago, Barrack Obama wasn't president then. To round up my unprofessional rant, I came up with a few ideas:
For men
1. If you get home before your wife/fiancee/girlfriend, it doesn't hurt to prepare dinner. If you can't cook, you can always order something for you AND her. The common mistake most men make is that when it comes to food, they think only about themselves, but they expect women to remember them in their plans.
2. Be patient and understanding. Remember that she works as hard as you do and will probably get home as tired as you are. So don't grumble over the 'food choices' she offers you. A freshly prepared dinner is a luxury/bonus, not a right. If dinner consists of microwaved leftovers, dig in and relish the taste and do the dishes, it's a simple way of saying a quiet 'thank you'.
For women (I can't really advise women since I'm a guy, but I'll try)
1. If you can't cook, you should learn (lol). It doesn't hurt to be a good cook. Trust me, you can control a man with good food, he'll never come home late. So think of it as a 'bargaining chip', lol.
2. You must plan ahead of time, the kids will arrive someday and you'll be faced with extra responsibility. Get used to the 'habit' of taking care of someone, start practising with your man. Believe me, if you think men are demanding, wait till you have kids!
In general, communication is key. A couple ought to sit down and plan how they'll run the home "TOGETHER". Sacrifices will have to be made by both parties, the sooner you sit down and work out a plan, the better for everyone.
I'll go ahead and whip up dinner tonight, as for my 'visitors', the closest they'll get to tasting any of this would be in their dreams, lol. Go get hitched or be happy single.
Let me know your thoughts, opinions and ideas and feel free to share. I bet I said something out of line somewhere, so correct me if you have a different opinion.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Higgs Boson and the passage of time
This week, we were greeted with the 'exciting' news that scientists and nerdy gurus may have finally uncovered the Higgs Boson. For most normal folk who probably stopped paying any attention to science after high school, the Higgs Boson is the famously named "God Particle". It is supposed to shed more light on our existence and provide answers to critical questions such as: "Was Morpheus really telling Neo the truth in The Matrix?", "Is Nicki Minaj's body real?", "Does Kanye West really dig Kim Kardashian or are they just screwing with our heads?". The truth is, finding the Higgs Boson may be the best thing ever to happen to mankind, on the other hand, considering the amount of money and research that has gone into discovering just one minute particle, it better be worth the effort! If you are interested in knowing more, you can google it. :)
There was an incident that transpired a few days ago that shook my trust in people, I still haven't gotten over it. It has basically altered the way I look at life. There was a barbecue at my crib to mark the Fourth of July celebrations, wasn't a big event, just a few close friends. I was a spectator most of the time because I was too tired to take part in any of the planning. At the end of the day, after all the eating and drinking, one of my 'guests' ( I refuse to think of the person as a friend) took my iPhone(I don't want to use the word 'stole') . Of course everyone has denied taking the phone, but we don't need a scientist or Higgs Boson to realize that the phone didn't just grow legs and walk away (a la Craig David). The smooth operator not only removed the SIM card, but also reset the phone so I couldn't even track it. I've learnt 2 valuable lessons from the incident:
1) ALWAYS lock your phone.
2) NEVER trust people blindly, trust must be earned.
Coco has warned me before about trusting people blindly but I always argued that you have to give people a chance, I'm a changed man now.
Still hunting for a new apartment, but I've narrowed down my choices. Brick City is definitely out of the options. I think I'm taking my talents to the Parsippany axis this fall (cue...drumroll and applause). My 2 little angels are heading back to Naija in a few days, still haven't figured out how I'll switch back to being a single fella. I've made so many transitions in the past few months that sometimes I wake up not remembering if I'm hispanic or white. Time flies you know, tis one of those little tricks of life, the passage of time right before your eyes. You slowly fall into the rhythm of breathing and working, sleeping...while life slowly sweeps by like a dream...one day you look in the mirror and you can't remember when the dream ended and reality began, or when summer merged into fall...while you struggle to remember, time keeps rolling by...
Live your life...Forget the past...Just live your life...
As for Higgs Boson, I don't care about how we came to be, I'm more curious about what the future holds for us ...
There was an incident that transpired a few days ago that shook my trust in people, I still haven't gotten over it. It has basically altered the way I look at life. There was a barbecue at my crib to mark the Fourth of July celebrations, wasn't a big event, just a few close friends. I was a spectator most of the time because I was too tired to take part in any of the planning. At the end of the day, after all the eating and drinking, one of my 'guests' ( I refuse to think of the person as a friend) took my iPhone(I don't want to use the word 'stole') . Of course everyone has denied taking the phone, but we don't need a scientist or Higgs Boson to realize that the phone didn't just grow legs and walk away (a la Craig David). The smooth operator not only removed the SIM card, but also reset the phone so I couldn't even track it. I've learnt 2 valuable lessons from the incident:
1) ALWAYS lock your phone.
2) NEVER trust people blindly, trust must be earned.
Coco has warned me before about trusting people blindly but I always argued that you have to give people a chance, I'm a changed man now.
Still hunting for a new apartment, but I've narrowed down my choices. Brick City is definitely out of the options. I think I'm taking my talents to the Parsippany axis this fall (cue...drumroll and applause). My 2 little angels are heading back to Naija in a few days, still haven't figured out how I'll switch back to being a single fella. I've made so many transitions in the past few months that sometimes I wake up not remembering if I'm hispanic or white. Time flies you know, tis one of those little tricks of life, the passage of time right before your eyes. You slowly fall into the rhythm of breathing and working, sleeping...while life slowly sweeps by like a dream...one day you look in the mirror and you can't remember when the dream ended and reality began, or when summer merged into fall...while you struggle to remember, time keeps rolling by...
Live your life...Forget the past...Just live your life...
As for Higgs Boson, I don't care about how we came to be, I'm more curious about what the future holds for us ...
Friday, June 29, 2012
Daydreamin': Summer in Pidgin...
Like play like play, summer don show. Na dat time of the year when e dey be like say hell-fire don near earth small. I go lie if I tell you say the heat no dey worry pesin. As in, just as day don break today, I bin waka outside to chop small breeze, na im the sun just tear me slap with heat. The matter don critical reach the level wey cause Colorado to almost burn reach ground. This na the same Colorado wia people no dey buy fridge because the weather dey cooperate like AC. Anyway, for the east coast, people don dey ginger small small. All man don dey enter gym to grow 6-pack! So tey, dem don dey form queue for gym like say na club dem wan enter. Anyway, wetin i tell dem be say , Guinness, Heineken, Budweiser, all na 6-pack.
One thing wey dey trip me about summer sha be say u no need to dey wear jacket to enter club. No be like all those winter days, when boiz go dey wear trench coat on top agbada because say the cold dey enter bone. And na during winter u dey sabi who dem born for this side and who bin download their yankee accent from MTV. Because when u don stand queue for front of club so tey your brain cells don run go your toes, "Sean" and "Rookie" go begin answer the real name wey dem mama give them: "Oluwaseun" and "Rukevwe". Wetin dey provoke me pass be say when u don finally stand queue for like 30mins dey wait to enter the club, after u don finally make am inside, bouncer go tell u "I'm sorry sir but you have to check in your jacket at Coat Check". You too go dey happy like celebrity, dey think say american people dey very hospitable. When u reach the coat check, the pesin wey dey dia go smile give u, collect your coat, the next thing u go hear be "That would be $5 sir". As in? Abeg I no want again, give me my coat, I go tie am like bandana. $5 to rent iron hanger for 4 hours? Na witchcraft?
Anyway people sha like to dey pull stunts during summer, so as a confirmed stuntsman, free me to hint you small on the tactics wey u fit see:
1. Na during summer people dey remember to visit you. Dem no wan pay utility bill, so as afternoon don dey reach, when the heat dey do pesin like say Newark near Maidugiri, boiz go begin enter your house because dem know say your AC no dey ever off. And dem go dey dia chill till night don reach.
2. Everybody go dey find free barbecue party to crash. Unto say even if na birthday barbecue u dey do for your 2 year old pikin, na so so adult go full everywhere. People no dey play with free meat and cold beer o. If you wan counter this move, wetin you suppose serve for your barbecue na pounded yam and hot egusi soup, arrange small 7up put for corner. Na only seasoned veteran wey get liver go fit tackle that combo.
3. Beach go dey full like crusade ground from morning reach night. You go see where pesin wey black pass sin go tell you: "ummm, I'm going to the beach to get a sun-tan". Sun-tan ? At least you for talk say u dey go play with san-san or catch little mermaid. Sun-tan ko, Moon-light ni.
4. People go dey waka for road like say dem dey audition for Jersey shore. Beach no dey the city o, but na so so pant and singlet u go dey see for road. Na during that kain time accident dey increase. And the accident no be for highway o, na for regular street road, because na so one chick go just dey catwalk for corner, 3 people go just run red light wia dem dey scope.
I no go lie u sha, the summer dey make sense small but e dey quick deflate your wallet. But as im time don reach, make we just bone enjoy am. If people wey dey Lagos dey throw summer party for naija for this period even though na rainy season, wetin u wan tell press?
One thing wey dey trip me about summer sha be say u no need to dey wear jacket to enter club. No be like all those winter days, when boiz go dey wear trench coat on top agbada because say the cold dey enter bone. And na during winter u dey sabi who dem born for this side and who bin download their yankee accent from MTV. Because when u don stand queue for front of club so tey your brain cells don run go your toes, "Sean" and "Rookie" go begin answer the real name wey dem mama give them: "Oluwaseun" and "Rukevwe". Wetin dey provoke me pass be say when u don finally stand queue for like 30mins dey wait to enter the club, after u don finally make am inside, bouncer go tell u "I'm sorry sir but you have to check in your jacket at Coat Check". You too go dey happy like celebrity, dey think say american people dey very hospitable. When u reach the coat check, the pesin wey dey dia go smile give u, collect your coat, the next thing u go hear be "That would be $5 sir". As in? Abeg I no want again, give me my coat, I go tie am like bandana. $5 to rent iron hanger for 4 hours? Na witchcraft?
Anyway people sha like to dey pull stunts during summer, so as a confirmed stuntsman, free me to hint you small on the tactics wey u fit see:
1. Na during summer people dey remember to visit you. Dem no wan pay utility bill, so as afternoon don dey reach, when the heat dey do pesin like say Newark near Maidugiri, boiz go begin enter your house because dem know say your AC no dey ever off. And dem go dey dia chill till night don reach.
2. Everybody go dey find free barbecue party to crash. Unto say even if na birthday barbecue u dey do for your 2 year old pikin, na so so adult go full everywhere. People no dey play with free meat and cold beer o. If you wan counter this move, wetin you suppose serve for your barbecue na pounded yam and hot egusi soup, arrange small 7up put for corner. Na only seasoned veteran wey get liver go fit tackle that combo.
3. Beach go dey full like crusade ground from morning reach night. You go see where pesin wey black pass sin go tell you: "ummm, I'm going to the beach to get a sun-tan". Sun-tan ? At least you for talk say u dey go play with san-san or catch little mermaid. Sun-tan ko, Moon-light ni.
4. People go dey waka for road like say dem dey audition for Jersey shore. Beach no dey the city o, but na so so pant and singlet u go dey see for road. Na during that kain time accident dey increase. And the accident no be for highway o, na for regular street road, because na so one chick go just dey catwalk for corner, 3 people go just run red light wia dem dey scope.
I no go lie u sha, the summer dey make sense small but e dey quick deflate your wallet. But as im time don reach, make we just bone enjoy am. If people wey dey Lagos dey throw summer party for naija for this period even though na rainy season, wetin u wan tell press?
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