The Usual Suspects vol. 1

Manhattan, NY...
A few weeks ago...

Time was about 4am, that hour of the morning when the clouds turn in their slumber, stretching and awaiting the morning kiss of the sun. Twas still pitch black, but typical of the city, the purity of the night was defiled by taxi horns and the merry laughter and raised voices of clubgoers on their journey home. That was the scene @ 29th and 7th ave... can't recall the exact coordinates, after effects of an alcohol spiked mind. Clumsy footfalls announced the oncoming entourage, the Usual Suspects, on the way back from the club, trading tales of the escapades of the night...Gusty laughter bounces into the night as one awkward detail is revealed, only to be outdone by another. Suddenly, the equilibrium of the exodus home gets shattered by one unlikely act...

A stunning catwalking chick enters the picture, clothes clinging to the outline of her body, sashaying on heels that defied logic, a'kin to your typical Kodak moment that snaps you out of your reverie. Laughter is paused in motion, eyes slowly navigate to her figure...then the trance is broken by one simple action. Was she a lady in red? nah, she was clad in black, all black. Whilst the usual suspects glanced admiringly at her, she plunged her hand into her purse brought out her phone, placed it to her right ear and continued walking...Now try to understand this...the Usual Suspects were walking on the curb, they may have been tipsy, but their vision and thinking was straight, "La femme fatale" in black was strutting on the street... So the following convo ensued...

Usual Suspect # 1: Yo Shawtie, Don't act like u r on the phone, I know you aint talking to no one on that phone and while u are at it, stop walking on the street...

La Femme Fatale a.k.a. Shawtie: Say what? For your information, I have a 3.5 GPA and I'm doing my masters, so watch your mouth...

Usual Suspect # 2: What has your GPA got to do with this?

Usual Suspect # 1: You still aint talkin to no one on the phone, stop faking!

La Femme Fatale a.k.a. Shawtie: @#%$*%! eyes rolling, attitude on full blast...You have a stupid accent!

Usual Suspect # 3: Accent? What type? British? Look at this brooklyn babe o...

Usual Suspect # 4: Everybody take a deep breath, we all need to relax...

All hell breaks lose! fingers wagging, raised voices mingled with laughter, lost directions...where did we park the car? circus...

Just another day...

One other thing...
I was a guest speaker at a recent event and one of the questions I posed to the audience was "Would I hire ME?" Got me thinking later about a chain of other questions...The concept behind the question was to place urself in the shoes of the other party...stand before a mirror and ask ur reflection a simple question..."Would u hire me?" "Would u date me if I asked?" "Would u marry me if I proposed/asked?"...Real tough question...I sure do know that I would marry me! I am a certified pro, a confirmed cook, a handy man, and a host of other stuff! What more could I want? wink wink...Narcissism...lol