April 17

Las Gidi…

Early in the morning, long before the break of dawn, he tousled and turned around underneath the sheets, his hands searching for the warmth of his fiancee's body. He murmured sleepily with undisguised contentment as he traced the outline of her body, his thoughts lost in transition in the oasis between sleep and dreams. His eyes fluttered open a few seconds after as her voice tickled his ears, "wake up boo, we have to be at the registry on time", she said. He pulled her closer to himself, still awed by the reality of their fast approaching civil marriage; it still felt like a dream. His suit was neatly hung next to her champagne dress, the attire creating the illusion of betrothed garments linked by the fabric of love. His tie was red, the color of passion and he had even picked out a red pair of boxer briefs to match, not that anyone but her would know, he chuckled mischievously. "Good morning honey, soon to be Mrs E", he whispered in her ear, the thought of being introduced as her husband still causing waves of excitement to ripple through his head. She smiled as she wriggled out of his embrace; his eyes never leaving her, the rush of flowing water snapped him out of his reverie...

Bumblebee was waiting for them to get in the car, "biko lets start going o", she called out. They had agreed to leave the house by 7am and she had been ready since 6.45, true to fashion, the bride-to-be was still putting finishing touches on her already perfect makeup. The red brooch she had on earlier had been replaced by a silver one instead, Bumblebee had picked it out herself because it matched her outfit better. A few minutes later, she sighed with relief as the couple hurried out of the house in to the car, the journey was about to begin...

He stepped out of the car, adjusting his tie one final time and walked briskly towards the registry with his bride beside him. They made a striking couple, even though most of the men clad in black suits had picked a red tie, there was no disputing who the hottest bride at the registry was. He could feel the eyes tracking their steps as they stepped into the hall; a cameraman was almost stumbling over himself as he captured their entrance on video. "Oga come and write your name here, u be number 20", the registry officer beckoned to him as they walked in. A few minutes later, he was seated next to his bride on the wooden bench; waiting for his number to be called...

1 hour later, he was sweating profusely, the sweat dripping down his face like teardrops. To the casual observer, he looked like a nervous man, in reality he was dying and praying for their turn to approach faster. The hall was packed, some brides were dressed in complete wedding gowns, there were a lot of guests and family members in support and the icing on the cake was the presence of a Fuji band of praise-singers who never failed to burst into a rendition of songs compiled with a newly wedded couple's name once the final vows had been said. His eyes sought out his bride in the chaos and he saw her smiling and laughing with a few of her friends who had come for the occasion. She still looked radiant, unperturbed by the heat. "My wife is a goddess" he hummed tunelessly under his breath, his eyes never leaving her face. A few minutes later she noticed his gaze on her and smiled back at him, the sweat still pouring down his face...

"Number 18, 19 and 20, couple only”, yelled the registry officer unceremoniously, beckoning to the approaching couples to come forward. Finally, it was almost their turn, there was no point trying to freshen up, he was already soaked with sweat, nevertheless he linked his arm with her's as they walked inside. He was a bit surprised by how quick the ceremony was conducted. In his mind, he had envisaged a romantic ceremony, where he would look into her eyes and promise to love her for the rest of his life. The scene that was unfolding before him didn't look so romantic. Nevertheless, he was still excited. A few minutes later, it was their turn. They looked at each other with excitement as they approached the registry officer, then the ceremony began...

It happened so fast that if u so much as blinked or closed your eyes to sneeze you would have missed everything. First of all, the registry officer sounded as uninterested as Obasanjo watching a Kanye West rap video. He zoomed through the words faster than a Formula 1 race car, never pausing to catch his breath or even acknowledge the pleadings of the groom to speak slower. He stumbled over the vows trying his best to repeat the words correctly. "Did u just say endow?" He asked quickly, trying hard to keep pace with the staccato burst of words rushing out of the lips of the registry official, whilst keeping his gaze on his Bride's lips. The officer seemed not to notice or chose to ignore him, continuing his quick fire approach. A few seconds later, he mumbled "now u may kiss ur bride". The couple kissed shyly while their guests ooohed and aaahd encouragement in the background, the photographer on the other hand was asking for a longer kiss for better pictures. His pleas fell on deaf ears, the kiss was over in a heartbeat, the registry official motioned to the newlywed to sit and then asked slowly in clearly punctuated words, "so Mr and Mrs E, what do you have for us?"...