Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Olivia Pope & My Oga

Hello World...

So over the past few weeks, the naija social media circle has been on fire with the gist of "Oga at the top". Your boi couldn't resist watching the clip and I laughed till I nearly passed out. After laughing sha, I tried to imagine how I would feel if my father was the dude on TV, then I said to myself "na lie, e no fit happen". I can't categorically call my papa a genius but the man sabi book well, where else did I get my small brain from if not from him and momsi. No be say I dey brag, but my papa used to carry 1st in secondary school, all our fathers were "1st_carriers". Back in those days, no one came second, just 1st. (If your papa didn't come 1st, please let me know) Me sef, I have sworn to tell my kids that I was the brightest student of my time, the matter must be embellished to the highest order.

But what did I learn from the "my oga at the top" saga? First of all (go down low), the man wasn't prepared. I think that was the key issue, I don't want to say he didn't know his job because we clearly don't know what his job details are. But if you are coming on national TV to refute allegations of job racketeering at your establishment, I believe you ought to do your research pretty well. It is almost like going snowboarding with running shoes. But then, this is naija, where anything goes. Secondly, how in the world did his boss agree to send him to represent NSCDC? Clearly the man lacked PR skills, he was basically setting him up for failure. You don't send an engineer to a business meeting to discuss figures, there's a reason why we have PR fellas and spinners, abi the oga no dey watch "Scandal"? Hire Olivia Pope for goodness sake!

Lesson 3, if you don't know the answer to something, don't be bullish and act like you know. A simple, "I can't remember right now" would have been better than "I cannot categorically tell you". If you study the clip carefully, you'll see that the guy was trying to buy time but kept stumbling further into the hole he already dug with his first statement. The art of spinning a tale requires that you buy a little time with your first reply.

Lesson 4, when you are thrown against the wall or thrown to the ground, don't just bounce up immediately and start swinging. Take a moment to catch your breath, else if you jump up right away, your knees will wobble and give way. Especially when the odds are not in your favor, you have to fight smart. The panelists were clearly out to 'expose' the fraud at NSCDC, they were prepared with facts and figures, our oga was not and from the look on the faces of the panelists, 'dem wan finish the guy'. Our oga's brash display of aggression (a la waiteee wait...), only served to anger the panelists more. So once they sensed blood, they went for the kill. Let's replace our oga with Olivia Pope and see what would have happened:

Q: What is the website of NSCDC ?
A: I can't remember right now.

Q: Are you saying you can't remember or you don't know?
A: I never said I didn't know it, I just can't remember it right now.
Q: Is it that complex to memorize?
A: Like I said earlier, I can't remember it and I don't want to give you an incorrect answer. I don't memorize website addresses for a living. Do you know the official website of the Federal Republic of Nigeria? I'm sure there's one and you should know it because you are a Nigerian.

Sadly, our protagonist and icon of comic relief has been thrown to the dogs. I hear he was suspended, tough luck. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make any excuses for him, but the truth is that there is a gross lack of professionalism that is almost a 'standard' for Naija. I won't say the culture applies only to the civil service, because there are also folks in the private sector who dress sharp but have weightless skulls because of the lack of brain matter. Knowledge is no more a virtue people yearn for, swag and effizi have replaced that. At least the older generation can blame their non-exposure to the internet as a reason for their inadequacies, but what excuse will the present generation give? Shebi we'll all tell our kids "I used to carry 1st when I was your age".

Trust Naija people to make videos and even t-shirts to 'celebrate' another man's mistake. The speed with which a single faux-pas goes viral is alarming. As in, you can fart in the elevator in Vegas and the gist will be in Yaba within 3 hours (that's faster than an Arik flight o). I hope everyone learnt a little lesson from the whole escapade. As for me, I sharply logged on to my company's website and memorized every single detail of the company profile. You can't catch me slipping, abi are you a learner?

I have one final question for anyone who follows "Scandal". Is Olivia Pope good, bad, stupid, wicked, unfortunate or just a triffling side chick? Because I can't seem to 'place' her. I mean she comes across as strong, independent and a justice league defender, yet she be tearing up the sheets with Fitz (who is just a complete ass in my opinion). I'm curious to know what women think of her. Feel free to comment.


  1. I am done with Oga at the top, BTW, I thought it was first of all, introduction? LOL..

    On Olivia, I'm still vexing with her and her creators, indeed which one is she? I have given up on the murdering president, at this point, Olivia is a trifling side chick. At her job though, she gets it.

  2. Myne! Yes o, Introduction, lol. You hit the nail on the head with your Olivia Pope analysis.

  3. Olivia is a side chick who think she's in love but its more like lust! Oga at the top is said to be still on the job and wasn't suspended.

    1. Yeah, I heard he wasnt fired as well after I put up this post. Goes to show that social media can't be trusted for authentic info all the time :)

  4. I like Olivia the fixer but Olivia the "lover" is an absolute weist! I wish I could skip all parts that have to do with her and Fitz. The sad thing is neither of them realize that what they have is intense lust which thrives only on its secrecy. They would never last if they were in a real relationship. The only other person I dislike more than Olivia is Fitz cos unlike Olivia, he took an oath for better or worse. Marriages have their ups and downs but he has done nothing to salvage his.

    As for the "oga at the top" thing, it goes to show that Nigerians haven't learnt the importance of public speaking. a lot of people out there are book smart but lack proper communication skills.

    1. Lol @ "an absolute weist". I agree with you on the 'secretive lust' part as well. In Naija, public speaking is for 'show'.

  5. Watching season 3 now.i must say scandal is one of the most interesting and addictive series. She is a very interesting character to study.i have followed the series.. Olivia the fixer,the gladiator is on point. But she cant make a good first lady for fitz.she is too soft,weak& emotional.melly is crazy and cunny,but there could never be a better 1st lady for fitz.(she is too smart). olivia has a complex issue,she never had a father there for her..thus she is drawn to and had dated powerful and older politicians who cant b there for her. .if they decide to choose her or pop the question..she withdraws...or maybe looses her interest in them. Its a psychological issue...she is lonely and needs help...helping pple gives her joy and eases her situation.i doubt if she knows how sick her personal life is. What she needs is a healthy dose of therapy. And a man not politically inclined...