He walked into the store brimming with confidence. Typical of the male ego, his eyes unconsciously fluttered for a brief second on his reflection on the huge glass mirrors. In his mind, there wasn't anything wrong with the action. It was more or less a reflex move, why did they put up the mirrors in the first place? With his inner-self appeased by the logical explanation for his vanity, he moved on, humming a tune. Like most men, he lacked the innate gift of shopping which all women seem to possess. There were no brief stops to check out the store's inventory, rather he navigated his way directly to his target...the Fragrance section.
Stopping at the huge stand for female fragrances, he stylishly cast furtive glances over his shoulder to scout the scene for reactions. The world is a kinky place he mused to himself, a man can't even shop freely without eyebrows being raised. He turned his attention to the perfumes and struggled to concentrate. Givenchy, Armani, cK, Burberry, Vera Wang...hmmm, even Beyonce was peddling scents now. Trying as much as possible to act natural, he slowly brought each bottle a few inches from his face and tried to 'taste' the fragrance with his senses. Once again he was struck by that timeless dilemma or question all men face..."What do women want?" To answer that question, he concluded that he'd have to think like a woman. He chuckled at his own genius, and squared his shoulders as if to acknowledge the silent applause ringing in his imagination.
At that point, the store attendant walked up to him, with a dazzling smile artistically etched on her face, she asked if he needed any assistance. "No thank you, I am okay, just want to pick up a perfume for my sister", he replied. Unconsciously, his voice had dropped an octave, the bass more defined and the accent polished. It is amazing the effect a random beautiful woman can have on a man. In a second, he had switched cultures from African to Mediterranean, his voice, transformed from D'Angelo to Barry White, advertising that he was single and at the same time showing a loving and caring side. After the store attendant moved on, his brain switched into overdrive, processing her beauty and at the same time trying to match the scent of her fragrance to one of the bottles on display.
A few minutes later, he gave up and decided to go ahead with his previous Einstein conclusion of 'thinking like a woman'. So he picked a bottle of perfume at random, glanced nervously around, and sprayed some into the air. He darted his wrist in one fluid motion through the perfume mist and brought his wrist to his nose. "Hmmmm, not bad", he thought. 10 minutes later and about 10 bottles of perfume after, he looked more confused than ever. Sheepishly, he walked over to the male fragrance section, reeking like King Solomon in the middle of his harem, avoiding the bemused glance of the store attendant. Within 2 minutes, he had picked out a cologne. He marveled at how complex it was to think like a woman in contrast to the simplicity of men. Determined not to give up, he walked back to the female section in a bid to mend his wounded ego.
20 minutes later, both arms tattooed with female fragrances and still undecided, he gave up, a defeated man. The store attendants who had been watching him all along, finally came to his rescue. Flanked on both sides by beautiful women who explained the mechanism of the female mind/personality to him, his ego gradually recovered. Pearls of laughter rang through the store as he regained his bravado and charmed the store attendants with his wit, Mediterranean accent in full gear, he rediscovered the art of subtle flirtation and communication. One hour later, a transformed man, his unique fragrance turning heads and drawing admiring glances, he walked out of the store with his shopping bag filled. On his way out of the mall, he paused by a huge Victoria Secret poster. With his left eyebrow arched and a smug smile on his face, he muttered to the poster model..."Now I know your secret"...Or so he thought...